It goes without saying that Fox's "Paradise Hotel" is, by far, the lowest of them all, but one show on the E! cable channel is both intriguing, yet really sad to me.
"Star Dates" is kind of like the syndicated show "Blind Date" but for celebrities.
The show goes like this: Two regular Joes or Jills agree to go on a date with a mystery celebrity. The show's host walks into a room with a briefcase in tow to reveal to the unsuspecting "contestants" who their star date will be.
Now just picture yourself in their shoes. No matter your reasons for being on the show, it all points back to you being a complete loony.
Craziness aside, though, imagine that the host reveals to you that you are going on a date with ? gasp n "Different Strokes" munchkin Gary Coleman or "Good Times" jokester Jimmie Walker.
There is reason why those two gentlemen are still single, okay?
To be kind, Coleman is the better looking of the two, and his height isn't really that big of a deal.
But Walker is not good looking, nor is he funny.
The bad male celebrity choices seem to be a recurring theme on that show.
Last season the show featured Coleman; Butch Patrick, wolf-boy Eddie Munster on "The Munsters"; and Dustin Diamond, nerd extraordinaire Screech on "Saved by the Bell."
Okay Diamond doesn't look as geeky as he used to, but when I think of a star date, I think of someone who actually used to be a star.
The female celebrities have faired a lot better, so the fellas don't have as much to worry about.
Last season the show featured Jill Whelan, all-American Vickie on "The Loveboat" and Kim Fields, the adorable roller girl Tootie on "The Facts of Life."
Both women look fantastic which is why I didn't mention that Phyllis Diller was also on "Star Dates" last season.
Don't get me wrong, I love Diller because she's sassy and funny. She isn't afraid to get a nip and tuck and admit she's done it.
Since I'll never be a candidate for the show, I'm not too upset about the poor quality of male celebrities on it. After all, if the men were hot more than likely they wouldn't need a blind date.
Like a train wreck, or Saddam Hussein's brutally murdered sons, I'll keep watching shows like "Star Dates" as long as my stomach can take it.
And my stomach says, "Grrrrrrrr."
Trina Trice is the education reporter for the News Daily. Comments can be sent to firstname.lastname@example.org.