By Jeffery Armstrong
I have to admit that today's high school kids are pretty funny.
I didn't think that before n I was always giving props to my high school class for being the funniest class in history. When I was in high school, I used to think that my class, the Class of 1985, was the most innovative and comical class ever. We had silly comments and sayings and we clowned everybody, including each other, all the time.
But I have to admit that Forest Park's baseball team and its students are pretty funny people n nearly as funny as my senior class.
Last Friday, I covered Forest Park's baseball game against the North Clayton Eagles. I was in a "deep blue funk" like Garfield the cat and I was looking forward to seeing a good game and cheering up.
I wasn't prepared for the comedy fest I got at Forest Park. The girls of Forest Park n yes, I said girls n were absolutely nuts. They started clowning some of the benched North Clayton baseball players who were sitting on Forest Park's side and they didn't let up. They talked about North Clayton players all night long and even had a few funny things to say about the Forest Park players.
When I was in high school, girls weren't that funny. I can't remember any of my female classmates clowning around like the girls at Forest Park. It was the guys at my school who were the comedians.
Now you all have to believe me when I tell you that I tried not to laugh at what those girls were saying. I did try to be the mature adult, but I couldn't help it. The clown in me surfaced and I was cracking up n not at the players, but at the comments. Sorry.
Those girls were just plain funny, although some of their comments were kind of mean at times. Any hefty players on the Eagles were called "Cornbread" or "Biscuits"; they talked about one player's eyebrows and one thin player was heckled all night, especially since it was very windy. You all can guess what they were saying about him in connection with the wind. I laughed most of the night and I really needed that, because I was really feeling down (financial matters n you know how it goes). Now I'm sure the players weren't happy to be called names, but that's how high school kids are n they live for that kind of thing.
"I heard what they were saying and I was cracking up most of the time," said Forest Park catcher B.J. McKinney. "Some of their comments at the North Clayton players were pretty rough."
McKinney ought to know about rough comments. He and his Forest Park teammates have some pretty good chatter lines they say in unison on the bench. And don't respond to them if you're an opposing player n you'll be labeled a "groupie."
If you're an opposing player and you strike out, Forest Park might hit you with "you're the weakest link n goodbye!"
In a win over Riverdale earlier this season, they waited until a teammate who hit a home run rounded third base before chanting "tick, tick, tick" and when he touched home plate, they all yelled "Boom!" Very clever stuff, indeed. I might have to make them honorary Class of '85 members.
Jeffery Armstrong is a sports writer for the Daily and his column appears on Thursdays. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.