Clayton News Daily | News for Friday, April 30, 2004

Ah, so crime does pay! - Ed Brock

Law, like all aspects of human behavior, is arbitrary.

A few notes from LA-LA land - Clay Wilson

From the window of the jetliner, the land looked like an electric garden.

Here comes the groom (cake) - Rob Felt

It's her special day." I know, I know. I've heard it before. This past weekend I attended a wedding in Texas and was reacquainted with the brute fact that the entire process revolves around the whims of the bride. The groom is just supposed to stand around smiling and nodding – setting the tone for the marriage (insert rim shot here).

Donald Trump's got nothin' on us - April Avison

We were split into four teams and given a deadline of April 24. The community was depending on us. The task: find a few dozen meaningful projects in need of service – construction work, beautification, maintenance. Find at least 500 volunteers willing to execute the work. A limited budget is available, so materials such as paint and lumber will need to be donated. It must be the best Hands on Henry in its six-year history.

The world through a pair of glasses - Bob Paslay

I have now worn glasses about 40 years of my life and I must say I hate them as much today as I did the first time I put them on in high school.

You don't have the right - Greg Gelpi

If all else fails, invoke a higher authority.

Facing a big dilemma in Baghdad - Billy Corriher

In 66 days, the Bush administration will roll the dice on what could be the biggest gamble yet in the president's war in Iraq. The administration is hoping to hand over power to an Iraqi governing coalition on June 30, even as fighting in the war-torn country shows no signs of stopping.

Getting locked out is not fun - Kathy Jefcoats

I got locked out of my house Thursday night. When my husband and I moved into our apartment, we didn't like the doorknob situation so we replaced it. We always just use the lock on the door handle, although there is a bolt that requires the use of a key still located above it.

Everything I need is always somewhere else - Zach Porter

Lately it seems that the things I need, my essential personal belongings, are always somewhere I'm not. There is a song by Tom Waits called Big in Japan which helps to explain my current situation. In his gravely, croaking-like-a-toad voice, Waits sings, "I've got the sheets, not the bed, got the jam not the bread."