I think it's time I articulated my position on a debilitating issue that our urban and suburban communities are facing. The Segway is the latest evil of our technologized society, and it could obsolesce tennis shoes forever.
The Segway is a two wheeled, self-balanced human transporter, according to the company that develope it.
I was walking down the street the other day to the market, and a balding man in his thirties pulled up next to me on his Segway. Curiosity turned my neck over to look at him. His stare was fixed straight ahead though, ignoring me.
Keeping pace with my stride, the wheels of his Segway hummed next to my sneakers. This continued for the next 20 feet or so, until we came to an intersection. Frustrated and embarrassed that someone might think I was walking with this pathetic man, I asked him what he was doing. Why was he creeping next to me instead of just passing? Was he taunting me with his erect wheel-based mobility?
No. He responded, "It's a public sidewalk, I have just as much right to it as you."
Obviously, he wanted to be a pedestrian. But was too proud to give up his Segway.
He felt even though he was in a position to reach rolling speeds of 20 mph that he could still go out for a stroll with all the other conventional people who view their feet as adequate transportation tools.
Well, he's wrong and any sound-minded pedestrian would tell you the same. I mean there are geriatrics using therapeutic walkers rather than lowering themselves to these silly machines.
In fact, people on Segways should not be allowed anywhere near a sidewalk. They are as bad as people who just stand on the moving walkway blocking foot traffic in the airport. I might understand a handicapped person's need for a Segway, like for example someone with a broken leg. But not regular people.
How lazy can you be, refusing to walk down the street to the store?
Probably the worst characteristic of Segway people is how confident they are perched above everyone else on the sidewalk. They are "that guy" whose vision is so obfuscated by pride, he can't see how ridiculous everyone thinks he looks.
Segway riders should be relegated to their own communities, their own bubbles, because they certainly aren't part of reality.
Justin Boron is the government reporter for the News-Daily. His column appears Monday. He can be reached at 770-478-5753 or firstname.lastname@example.org