Well, I've messed up again, it seems.
Apparently at least some people got the wrong idea from a column I wrote about two weeks ago regarding my lovely hometown of Mobile, Ala., being found to be the seventh most stressful city in the country. A fellow named Bert Sperling of Sperling's BestPlaces made this assessment and has yet to contact me regarding his reasons.
Of all the nerve!
Anyway, in my column I jokingly referred to Mobile as the "10th circle of Hell" and talked about what a horrible place it is. This is not true, ladies and gentleman. It was, in fact, a joke.
Granted, there are many things about Mobile that I think need to be changed, but the same could be said about every single place on the planet, with the possible exception of a desert island stocked with a lifetime supply of great food, booze and beautiful women. Er, I mean my wife, of course.
Indeed, my intention was simply to tell Mr. Sperling to go climb a tree, preferably one of Mobile's many spreading oaks or perfumed magnolias. If that doesn't suit him, then he can go jump in a lake, or maybe a bay, like Mobile Bay, which (in the parts on the Eastern Shore away from most of the pollution upstream) is a sure-fire cure for stress.
It always worked for me.
Now, the gentle reader who alerted me to this misunderstanding may choose to stop reading at this point. I'm about to turn serious on an entirely different topic that she may find offensive if she is a fan of our current president.
But simultaneously I urge her to read on, because unpleasant as this might be for her and for other Bush supporters, it must be known.
The man lied to us. At best he really messed up when he started this most recent war.
That's a little worse than lying about some dumb fling with your intern.
Those of you who follow the headlines may know this already, or at least you're familiar with the most recent evidence that what I'm saying is true and you either believe it or you don't. If so, go about your business of slowly destroying our country with your ignorance and denial, for I cannot help you, my friend.
No. 1, David A. Kay, the man who recently quit as the head of the government's quest for weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, has declared that those weapons were long gone before this war began. What's more, he's now saying that indeed what there was of a WMD program in Iraq began spiraling down the tubes in the late 1990s as corrupt Iraqi scientists actually began scamming money from Saddam Hussein by proposing outrageous weapons plans and using the money for themselves.
The CIA failed to catch this, Kay said, but I think Bush failed to care about it. He failed to care because, as former Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill said, Bush planned to invade Iraq long before the Sept. 11 attacks.
Add this to the fact that even Army War College visiting professor Jeffrey Record is saying the war was a strategic misstep in the war on terrorism, and you have some good indications which way to vote come November. Alas, recent polls show that most Americans seem to think Bush is doing a good job keeping us safe from terrorists.
Doesn't anybody read anymore?
Granted, Kay also said that the lack of central control and the presence of weapons production capability did make Iraq a dangerous place. At the same time, his work showed that the United Nations weapons inspections were working, and considering the fact that Hussein was apparently going nuts, I believe it was not necessary to go to war to end his regime.
Well, more on that next week, when I will also explore the possibility that America and certain members of the current administration might be named as accessories to Saddam Hussein if he is put on trial.
Ed Brock covers public safety and municipalities for the News Daily. He may be reached at (770) 478-5753 ext. 254 or via e-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org.