Who doesn't love a good, hard sneeze?
Mitsubishi calls the color of my car "thunder gray," but lately it's a shade of pea-soupy yellow. Everyone knows that the tint of your ride isn't the real problem right now, it's the seasonal allergies.
The car wash business may be up, but Kleenex sales are booming.
As my eyes turn itchy and pinkish and my car gets a paint job from Ma Nature, it's the Excedrin bottle that's getting all the attention in my world.
Oh... the headaches. My kingdom for a socially acceptable bio-bubble, or a lifestyle that would allow me to spring in the Southwest the way some summer in the Hamptons. Spring leaves me numb with painkillers, although I refuse to seek professional medical advice on my problem.
I've self-diagnosed a pine allergy, and I'm sticking to it. The greater Atlanta area is the only place in the world where I exhibit allergy symptoms, and pine is the only pollen unique to this area versus the other places I've lived.
Things could be worse, it could be a peanut allergy. No offense if you've got this, but wow does that sound bad. Aside from being in love with peanut butter (especially when partnered with it's cousin, chocolate) the side effects from peanut exposure to those allergy sufferers are terrible!
Just about as terrible as the cast of the upcoming season of VH1's reality show "The Surreal Life." Jose Canseco of the 40/40 club and steroid testimony fame and Omorosa, the villain from "The Apprentice?" Throw in a side of Balki Bartokomous from "Perfect Strangers" and there you have it. Guilty pleasures have never been so tempting.
Hardly as guilty as Eric Rudolph, who copped a plea yesterday to avoid the death sentence. He gave up a pile of explosives in the Carolina hills to absolve some guilt for bombing open the Olympics, a gay bar, and 2 abortion clinics in the name of Christian values. Turning the whole thing back on its head are the victims who are disappointed that he's not being put down. It's like a big Slinky of death cascading down the stairs of modern history.
In other death news, two unidentified woman stole a plasticized fetus from the "Body Worlds" exhibit at a science museum in Los Angeles. The show is made up of a collection of actual dead human and animal bodies skinned and coated in a plastic resin that maintains their composition forever. It's controversial to say the least, but wildly popular. Los Angeles, Chicago and Cleveland are the only 3 cities in the U.S. to have seen the tour so far, but if it comes to Atlanta watch out.
Someone will probably try to bomb the museum.
Rob Felt is the photographer for the Daily Herald. He can be reached at (770) 957-9161 or firstname.lastname@example.org .