My wife and I have decided that our daughter will spend her first years lost in the wilds of Zanzibar.
That is to say, we've chosen the "Zanzibar" collection from "Babies R Us" to decorate her room. The set includes not only the blanket, sheets, bumper and other accessories for our infant's bed, but also various knick-knacks like lamps and wall hangings and, of course, the border that will be the room's primary decoration.
Now I just have to find some light-switch face plates that match the jungle theme.
It's a bit of a farce, of course. The Zanzibar bedding and decoration includes giraffes, zebras and elephants, all animals that are not indigenous to the small island nation off the coast of Tanzania, Africa, that lends its name to the motif.
Well, we aren't sticklers for accuracy. The reason we're going with an animal theme in the first place is, one, so I won't have to repaint the light green walls of our nursery, and two because a friend of ours gave us a literal pile of stuffed animals. The plush menagerie features one African denizen, a lion, and the rest of the beasts include several teddy bears, a stuffed hedgehog, a couple of dogs, a dragon and one or two characters from "Monsters, Inc."
It would seem our incipient parenthood has already made us inclined toward compromise. In the end, it's a simple matter of doing what works.
Just get it done, that's the theme of the day, and don't sweat the small stuff.
Speaking of small stuff, we also had to register for potential baby gifts. I won't say where we registered, but I'll confess it's a "big box" store with a name and logo that imply it should be bombed.
After all, I am from Alabama.
Anyway, it was an interesting experience because we got to shop for stuff that we'll not have to pay for. The down side is we also may not get the stuff.
But the process of going up and down the aisles of the baby section and actually choosing every little thing we need accentuated the incredibly vast amount of stuff needed to keep such a little person happy.
Socks, mittens, blankets, pacifiers, diaper disposal box (more for our benefit), pretty little girlie outfits and more stuff I couldn't quite comprehend but hey, I'm not paying for it.
Well, I'm not paying for it yet.
And that doesn't include the tiny hunting rifle and safari outfit she'll need, living in the jungle and all that.
Ed Brock covers public safety and municipal governments for the News Daily. He can be reached at (770) 478-5753 ext. 254 or at firstname.lastname@example.org .