Be a real friend - Jaya Franklin

Being a real friend is very important to me.

I would much rather for a person to be absolutely truthful with me than to sugarcoat the truth.

One thing that definitely surprises me is the fact that some people actually prefer for someone to lie to them, than to actually tell the truth. They may not come out and say it, but it's evident.

If you would rather go to a friend, who will stroke your ego, than to a friend who will tell you the truth, it's obvious that you may have a fear of facing the truth, which is another problem in itself.

As a matter of fact, I have more respect for someone who will tell me the truth than someone who will lie to me.

I think the person who tells the truth is displaying concern and being thoughtful. I would also trust that person more than I would a person who is willing to lie to me for the sake of guarding my feelings, or seeing me look foolish.

Take for example, if one of my friends asked me if I liked her outfit and in all actuality, I thought the outfit was hideous, I would tell her in a nice way -- that's not embarassing -- that I don't like the outfit. I would then suggest something that she could do to make it look better.

I feel much better telling my friend the truth than allowing her to go out in public and embarrass herself. Someone, who doesn't care for her feelings, could laugh in her face, then I would feel badly.

I don't necessarily consider myself a person with thick skin, because there are certain people's opinions that I really value, who could probably crush me, if they told me something negative in a nasty way. But on the same note, there is a place and a time to say these things.

In the past, I had to realize that everyone is different; some people are more sensitive than others. I don't find joy in hurting people's feelings. I have before. I'm not perfect, but I have never done it intentionally.

Some people lie to others, because they think it makes them look like a big person. Others do it because they're trying to get a point across, and end up doing it in a hurtful manner.

No matter the reason, before voicing our opinions, it would help to put ourselves in the other person's shoes and think about how we would feel if we were in the same situation.

Thinking about what we're going to say before opening our mouths, could save a friendship.

Jaya Franklin covers government for the Henry Daily Herald. She can be reached via e-mail at jfranklin@henryherald.com.