We sort of skipped past President Obama's first 100 days last week, due to the looming horror of the dreaded SWINE FLU EPIDEMIC, which now looks about as lethal as your average bunny rabbit furball contagion.
Although people do continue to flip out, like Egypt, which slaughtered nearly every pig in the country. But fear not, Ann Coulter was nowhere near the joint at the time.
All I'm saying is don't expect BLTs to show up on the daily specials menu at your favorite Cairo deli.
So let us belatedly jump into this whole 100-day retrospective dealie thing, which recently became a heavy-duty benchmark of real importance, because, hey: TRIPLE DIGITS.
The media has dutifully kept us informed upon the significance of this monumental occasion and have not used their indoor voice while doing so.
But this space will address the first one hundred and TEN days of the Obama administration. Hence, OUR look back will be 10 percent more accurate. Ten percent more comprehensive. Ten percent better.
By being 10 percent later.
Exactly how has the fourth Democratic administration since 1968 fared in its first 110 days? Unh. Well. You know. About what you'd expect, I guess.
Depends on whom you talk to. Not a lot of agreement. General consensus is: "Too early to tell." Or as my knock-off, discounted, Magic 8 Ball said when consulted: "Still not cleahr. Outlok cloudy. Try again alter."
Some experts proclaim that the 44th president has done brilliantly under adverse circumstances. Others blame him for everything gone wrong with the planet in the last three months, including the unusually high, late spring, upper-Midwest humidity.
Unfortunately, that vaunted Bipartisan Outreach Program was about as successful as barbed wire crib rails. As they say in Variety and exceptionally frantic frog restaurants: "no legs."
Neither is Barack getting what you would call your major assistance from either side of the aisle. "We want to work with the president." Mmm-hmm.
The same way a starving coyote wants to work with a nest of baby ducks. One discouraging word circulating the Beltway accuses the Chief Executive of being arrogant, but you know what, at least he's smart.
Because we tried arrogant and stupid and that didn't work.
From a comedic standpoint, I'm severely disappointed. The foremost scandal thus far has been a couple of Cabinet appointees who didn't want to pay their taxes. Which most of us can relate to.
Problem is, Bush was a satirical motherlode, and even Clinton hit the ground running as a corpulent womanizer. But Obama is smoother than liquid black velvet, affording little purchase to hook a barb onto.
Besides, you can't mock hope. Too much like kicking a small furry whimpering thing with big eyes. Got to wait for hope to scab over a bit.
Not to mention the economy being more fragile than a spun-glass stepladder, so pretty much everyone not named Rush Limbaugh is rooting for him to succeed.
But with pirates and pandemics and Pakistan all set on High Menace, the job ahead looks tougher than untying a centipede's shoe laces while wearing oven mitts.
Which is bad for the nation, the world, the planet and the solar system, but good fodder for us political comics. Of course, at this point, we members of the CCJU (Comics, Clowns & Jesters Union,) just might be wiling to take one for the team.
Will Durst is a San Francisco-based political comic who writes sometimes. This is one of them.
Durst has performed around the world. He is a familiar pundit on television and radio. E-mail Will at email@example.com.