Jose Canseco made his mixed martial arts debut last Tuesday with hilarious results. Just as anyone would expect from a washed-up 44-year old former baseball player, the extent of Canseco's offense involved wrapping himself up in the fetal position, hoping to keep his opponent Hong Man Choi at bay with the scent of desperate fear, shattered legacies and most likely urine.
Before I continue, I think it is important to mention that Jose Canseco was my favorite baseball player for a long time and it pains me to find joy in his pain and his humiliation.
And yet, I really do find joy in it.
The former Oakland Athletic standout who used to be more well known for his late 80s, early 90s baseball accomplishments than for the steroids that almost certainly helped him attain those feats, has already made a name for himself through shameful acts of buffoonery.
After peaking with the A's, Canseco embarked on a career full of hilariously awful mishaps and the sort of comedy that is only appealing to those who enjoy the misfortune of others, such as myself.
Canseco has the distinction of being the sole player to ever have a ball bounce off his head and over the fence to assist a home run for the opposing team.
This came after Canseco was unceremoniously traded to the Texas Ranger while still on deck for the Athletics in the middle of game in 1992.
He followed up that feat by trying his hand at pitching and doing so poorly as reliever that he injured himself on his first trip to the mound and had to spent the remainder of the season on the bench after enduring Tommy John Surgery to repair his arm.
I know a lot of people are not too fond of Canseco, mostly because he used steroids and he ratted out fellow players who did the same.
But I think the man deserves some credit.
Sure, he cheated, but as we should have already come to understand, there are very few honest men in major league baseball when it comes to steroids.
While I concede that simply following the crowd is no excuse for breaking the rules, I do think it should rule out demonization.
This is especially true when those drugs are abused for the benefit of our entertainment.
Canseco did wrong, but he was man enough to admit it.
I am willing to look past the fact that we was also snitch, because his insane recent attempts to get into the world of mixed martial arts is about as much penitence as anyone could hope for.
The man is clearly past his prime, but he still cares enough about sports fans to step into the ring with Partridge Family alum and all-around nut job, Danny Bonaduce.
The match was ruled a draw.
After being unable to defeat a man whose only claim to fame is being a teenage drummer in a fake band and having horrific drug problems, Canseco decided it would be a good idea to fight against a 330-pound grand sumo champion.
Canseco quickly lost, to the surprise of no one.
Nevertheless, he once again proved he is willing to sacrifice himself and his dignity for the entertain of the almighty sports fan.
For that I thank him.
Zack Huffman is a sports writer for the Daily. He believes more baseball players should use steroids if it would make the game entertaining. He can be contacted at firstname.lastname@example.org