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Some humorous thoughts for today - James C. Bell

I was at my desk this morning doing some badly needed cleaning and sorting out old "stuff" that should be pitched, when I ran across a copy of "The Care Connection," published in 2006 in Wooster, Ohio.

I thought my readers might like to have a chuckle or two, so get ready to laugh a little. It will do you good.

This experience was sent in by Maxine Hark, of Canton, Mo.:

"I was leading a Sunday school class in singing, 'I've got the Joy.' With smiles on their faces, the children sang, 'I've got the joy, joy, joy, joy down in my heart. (Where?) Down in my heart to stay!' When he heard that last phrase, one 5-year-old boy looked up at me with a puzzled look on his face, and asked, 'On Tuesday?' 'No,' I laughed, 'Not Tuesday -- to stay.' 'But you said, Tuesday!'

" His remark led our class into a conversation about having joy in our hearts on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and every day of the week. Another boy said, 'Yeah, 24/7!' What a lesson I learned that day. We all have the joy of the Lord in our hearts, every day of the week and every hour of the day!"

"Why Teachers turn gray." These are reported to be actual test answers from various schools:

Q: Name the four seasons.

A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: What does the word: "Benign" mean?

A: Benign is what you will be after you are eight.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?

Keep it in the cow.

Q: What is fibula?

A: A small lie.

Q: What is a Hindu?

A: It lays eggs.

Q: What is terminal illness?

A: When you are sick at the airport.

This sign was posted in a church nursery: "We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed . -- 1 Corinthians 15:51."

-- "All people smile in the same language."

-- "Happy memories never wear out-- relive them as often as you want."

-- "Children really brighten up a household -- they never turn the lights off!"

-- A little boy was sitting in a church pew holding an offering plate with one of his shoes tied very neatly, and placed in the plate. He happily said; 'I learned to tithe my shoe!'"

-- "An apology can miraculously transform hostility into honey."

-- "Have a heart that never hardens, a temper that never tires, and a touch that never hurts. Charles Dickens."

-- "The right thing. Potter Stewart, the former Supreme Court justice, defined ethics as: knowing the difference between what you have a right to do and what is the right thing to do."

-- "The Holy Bible says: 'Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Ps. 37:4.'"

I pray you shall be delighted in the Lord our God.