Friday, July 15, 2011
© Copyright 2014
Clayton News Daily
Every now and then I like to kick back and enjoy a few good stories and have some fun so let's swap a few.
An old favorite of mine is about this burglar who broke into a home thinking no one was home and as he started putting a few desirable things in his sack he was startled to hear a voice say—Jesus is watching you!—He looked around the room and saw a parrot in his cage. The parrot said again—Jesus is watching you! The burglar just laughed and kept on filling his bag when suddenly he heard a low growl and he turned to see a large dog looking at him with huge teeth showing! Then he heard the parrot say—sic him jesus!
One Sunday morning a mother went to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going." "Why not?" she asked. "I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "(1.), they don't like me and (2), I don't like them. His mother replied, "I'll give you two good reasons why you should go to church: (1) You're 59 years old, and (2) you're the Pastor!
An elderly woman walked into the local church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. "Where would you like to sit?" he politely asked her? The front row, please," she said. "You really don't want to do that," the usher said. "The pastor is really boring." "Do you happen to know who I am?" the woman inquired. "No," he said. "I'm the pastor's mother," she replied indignantly. "Do you know who I am?" he asked. "No," she said. "Good," he answered.
A priest, a minister and a guru sat discussing the best positions for prayer, while a telephone repairman worked nearby. "Kneeling is definitely the best way to pray," the priest said. "No", said the minister. I get the best results standing with my hands outstretched to Heaven." "You're both wrong," The guru said. "The most effective prayer position is lying down on the floor." The repairman could contain himself no longer. "Hey fellas," he interrupted. "The best prayin' I ever did was when I was hanging upside down from a telephone pole."
My friends — I think the best prayin' I ever did was when I asked Jesus Christ to forgive my sins and come into my heart to live forever! How bout you? Have you prayed to receive Christ as your Savior? If not then why not now? I pray you will.