Photo by Derrick Mahone
Prognosticator Darryl Maxie has picked Henry County and coach Mike Rozier to end two-time defending state champion Sandy Creek's 33-game winning streak.
Dear Sandy Creek,
I thought you were ripe for the picking against. I thought your time had come. I thought your defeat was imminent.
OK, I only missed by 36 points. Stuff happens.
I was thinking, you know, that at some point, you have to lose. You gotta. It’s in the rules. . . somewhere. Isn’t it?
I was thinking, you know, that you guys put your pants on one leg at a time, just like everybody else. Apparently, you’ve mastered the two-leg pants put on maneuver. Do you have a machine, like Bruce Wayne did in the old, 1960s Batman series — you know, where he slides down the pole in his normal, everyday clothes, then mysteriously gets to the bottom of the pole fully attired in his Bat-tights?
I was thinking that Drew, which almost beat Cairo in the first week and had the intestinal fortitude to go for the win instead of the tie in regulation — and on Syrupmaker turf, no less — certainly wouldn’t be intimidated at the prospect of playing a two-time state champion in the Georgia Dome.
I showed the Titans much love. Got none back. What can I say? They’re in timeout this week.
At times like this, “Oops” seems so insufficient. Apropo, yes. Sufficient for the task? Hardly.
And now here comes Henry County to your Battlefield. Here comes a team that thought it should have done much better against you guys last time, when you guys won 42-21 in McDonough.
They’re saying the same things I said last week on Drew. They think your football field is the same size as everybody else’s. It is, right? I mean, certainly the red zone doesn’t shrink by 10 yards just because your quarterback is about to get the ball from your center. Now that would be some trick right there.
When cut, you bleed, right? Well, maybe nobody can really tell with all that red you guys wear. That was smart. The referee can’t send you out of the game if your blood blends in with the rest of the uniform. Reminds me of a stunt Max Bass pulled at Newnan some years back with football-colored jerseys so that the ball would blend right in. I tell ya, that Max Bass was a character, all right.
But back to my apology. If you guys don’t bleed and you put your pants on two legs at a time and you have X-ray vision to see what Mike Rozier is diagramming on the sideline and super-hearing to eavesdrop on what Chris Moody is saying to Chris Amos, well, maybe that explains why you’re going for 33 wins in a row tonight.
But then, there were all those penalties y’all got flagged for last week. You gotta work on that. I’m sure Coach Walker was throwing out some Bobby Bowden “Dad-gums” after a while, with all the yellow flags that flew. Maybe y’all should talk to Aquaman and do that thing he does when he talks to the fish and stuff — only recalibrate it so that it works on zebras instead. I mean, referees. That way, nobody will know what’s going on when calls mysteriously start going your way. Aquatelepathy could come in real handy.
I hope y’all will treat Henry County real nice tonight. The Warhawks worked extra hard in practice for the last two weeks. They don’t know all your names, but they know your numbers. So, like Billy Joel once said, don’t go changing. . .
Anyway, I got an editor waiting on this, so I better hurry up and finish my apology.
Not for picking against you and missing by only 36 points.
For being a week off.
Henry County wins.
East Coweta Luella
ELCA First Presbyterian
Jackson Locust Grove
Jones County Ola
North Clayton Morrow
Riverdale Mount Zion
Stockbridg Eagle’s Landing
Strong Rock SW Atlanta Christian
Tri-Cities Mundy’s Mill
Union Grove Woodland