Sweet pea is not a fruit

I love Christmas and have embraced Internet shopping and home delivery as my way of staying sane through the holidays. Having been raised in the Church of Christ, I have never celebrated Christmas as the day Jesus was born. We believe the Bible is not specific on the day Jesus was born simply because the fact that He died for our sins is more important than His birthday.

For my entire life, Dec. 25 is the day Santa brings presents so I have no problem with the commercialization of Christmas. You won’t see phrases like “Jesus is the Reason for the Season” on my Facebook page or pictures of the nativity.

Christmas in our home means presents and lots of them. I get lists from my kids and grandkids as early as July or August and immediately start shopping online. The older the grandkids get, the harder it is to decipher some items, however.

For example, the oldest, 15, asked for a speed parachute. I had to look it up and thank goodness, found it on Amazon.com, along with just about anything else you can imagine.

I do read reviews of items I’ve never bought before and got a chuckle from one lady who felt she was misled in her purchase. “If I had known I was buying an item from Walmart, I wouldn’t have bought it,” read her review. “I thought I was getting clothes from Amazon.com.”

Every items lists the seller and I am not aware that Amazon manufactures its own clothing line. Some people would rather complain than read and take responsibility for their own ignorance.

Anyway, my daughter-in-law, Celeste, asked for a “fruity” sugar scrub from Bath and Body Works. I checked Amazon.com and found several scents but since most of the brick-and-mortar stores have good deals when you buy multiples, I thought I’d hit the McDonough location and maybe get several gifts.

I walked into the store and tried to figure if the scrubs would be together or if they would be within each fragrance. It’s been a long time since I was inside a Bath and Body Works store. I immediately found “White Citrus” and checked the line of products but found no scrub. Before I could continue my search, an associate approached me.

I told her I was looking for a sugar scrub in a fruity scent. She looked at me as if I had two heads and picked up “Sweet Pea.”

“What about this?” she said, fanning the fragrance around my nose.

“Uh, that’s not fruit, that’s a flower,” I said.

“Well, I’m trying to understand what you mean by ‘fruity,’” she said.

Now it was my turn to look perplexed. Had “fruity” taken on a new meaning?

“My daughter-in-law asked for sugar scrub in a fruity scent,” I said, helpless to think of another way to explain what seemed self-explanatory.

She turned to “Sensual Amber.” No. “Warm Vanilla Sugar?” No.

“Fruity,” I said again.

“What do you mean by fruity? I’m not understanding you,” she said.

What’s to understand?

“Fruity, like citrus, peach, melon, orange, lemon, apple, figs, berries,” I said, all of which are scents carried by Bath and Body Works. “Fruit.”

“Oh citrus?” she said. “Here’s White Citrus.”

I told her I’d already looked at that scent and while there was a variety of lotions and balms and oils, there was no sugar scrub.

“Oh,” she said, crestfallen to have almost but not quite made a connection.

Trying to be helpful, I explained that I found similar scents online but wanted to go to a store to take advantage of the deals.

“Oh,” she said again. “That’s probably a line of products we won’t get in until January. We don’t have them here.”

OK, I can understand that not all stores can carry all products but that still doesn’t explain why she didn’t know what “fruity” meant. She works in a fragrance industry. You’d think that “types of scents” would be No. 1 on orientation day — fruity, flowery, woodsy, spicy, musky, sweet. There’s six right there.

At any rate, it defeated my goal of not getting into traffic on a Saturday, not maneuvering through a parking lot with other drivers who don’t have a clue what they are doing or where they are going, and of being able to find exactly what I want when I want it.

As much as I enjoy seeing the faces of the kids and grandkids as they open a gift to find what they wanted underneath the wrapping, guess who is getting a gift card from Bath and Body Works so she can find her own fruity sugar scrub? I just hope she has better luck finding an associate who has a firm grasp on scents.